I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
