But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
