evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
