Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
