he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
