I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
