I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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