okay pat passed out under dana's car
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
