the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
