Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
