I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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