In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
