we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
