Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
