I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
