I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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