too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
