I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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