I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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