the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
