he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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