Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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