Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
