sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
