puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
