on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
