you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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