Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ugly people sure do ruin things
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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