The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
either way he was missing a nipple.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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