he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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