that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
