dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
