Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
