and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
