Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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