Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
