The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
