omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
