onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
there is glitter all over my balls
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
