He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
