Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
