you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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