You're earring is so big in my mouth
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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