I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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