I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Randomize
