from now on my penis is your penis
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
