maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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