The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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