would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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