Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
